Choosing the Positive

Enjoyed this episode the Love Drive, “How to Change Your Life with Dr. Jeremy Goldberg.”

The one thing that stuck out for me was choosing your outlook. If you think the universe is conspired against you, that nothing is going to work out, generally that’s sorta gonna happen. I had that mindset for a few years, with clenched fists and carrying lots of stress in my shoulders and face.

Then I started running, because being mad wasn’t getting me anywhere. Running led to autonomy, dignity, self-respect, achievement. Things that a grumpy attitude weren’t able to provide.

So like Dr. Jeremy Goldberg spoke in this episode, if you can choose the negative, you can also choose the positive. If the negative can lead to the grumps and “nothing ever works out,” then the opposite must be true, right?

It’s what I believe, and it’s led me to some pretty damn good times.

Relaunch of Metal Bandcamp Giftclub

I had fun putting MetalBandcampgiftclub back together again. I had been tasked by one of the helpers of the thing to take over the Twitter posing over the summer, and I totally dropped the ball.

What the heck is MetalBandcampgiftclub? Well, back in 2016 some friends of mine were having a rough time, and instead of wallowing, they decided to gift some wishlist items to friends on Bandcamp. Positive motion, you know? We were all interviewed for it in Bandcamp back then about the whole thing.

And I happen to know on good authority that the whole thing generated tens of thousands of dollar in revenue.

I’m relaunching it via an email list (you can sign up here) because not everyone is on Twitter these days. And, I really didn’t want to grow this again by expanding into Facebook and Instagram. My thinking; if you have a Bandcamp wishlist, you have an email address.

Now whenever there is a birthday (or a few birthdays), I will send out an email with links to those wishlists, and a recommendation or two.

The site was built using WordPress.com. New logo images from Vecteezy. For the emails I’m trying out Revue instead of Mailchimp since I wanted to play with something new (try it for yourself using my referral link).

Nervous in a Good Way

Today it was rainy and gross, but I set out for an hour drive to run the 7th Annual “Pound the Pavement Purple” 5K race. This is my third time running it, and it was my fastest time yet (26:41, around a 8:25/mi pace).

Like I said, it was rainy, and windy, and running at this “new” pace is really something. Putting the pain somewhere is the challenge. Like, I’m an adult and can make choices, right? Ouch, this hurts, I should just walk. But… nope. Kept pushing the pace, and passed another runner half mile to finish ninth (out of 70).

Mind you, it’s not all about results, and winning, and placing, until…. it is. This is new territory for me, actually being able to compete. To focus. To actually get nervous before a race. Not so much to perform, or anxiety about what’s gonna happen, but an excited sort of nervous, the kind where you’re excited to find out what’s gonna happen.

Make the Time

There’s an app on my phone that tells me how much time I waste on social media, which is why I know I can definitely take 20 minutes and go for a walk.

For me, that’s positive. It’s movement, fresh air, and gets the blood flowing. Twenty minutes worth of inspirational Tweets ain’t gonna do that.

Tiny choices, seemingly small decisions, made and re-made over months and years and decades gets you to where you are.

Anxiety

via Cleo Wade Instagram

I think I found this via someone’s Instagram Story, but just like all of social media, it’s hard to remember sometimes, right?

When feeling anxious, I tend to remember to pull everything back to the present moment. It’s easier in the car, since paying attention is imperitive, but really to shake off the feelings of terror and dread, and replace them with “right now nothing is happening.”

I’m not being attacked, or mauled, or threatened. In this very moment I am alive, breathing, and handsome. Hey, it’s my self-talk, dammit!

But it’s so true, as Cleo Wade points out, above; the anxiety is not you. It’s a feeling, and we aren’t our feelings. I credit the Headspace app with a lot of help with that in my life.

Wade’s new book “Where to Begin” looks pretty great, BTW.

When You Love Skiing

My friend Dino sent me this video, “YETI Presents: John Shocklee | A Fairy Tale.”

Stuff like this used to weird me out. Like, sure, just live in a 215 sq. ft shack and be a ski guide! WHATEVER!

But bike adventures in my 30s, and now running in my 40s, like… it’s not so much about “quit everything, cancel your cell phone, and do what you love,” but… bits and pieces.

You gotta run three miles before you can run 10.
Gotta write one song before you write an album.
Have to camp for two nights before you can disappear into the woods for a month.

Nothing is zero to sixty. We’re all on course for something, somewhere, and sometimes we don’t realize it until 10 years later we’re left scratching our head and wondering, “how’d I get here?

Less Photos

Derek Sivers (he founded CD Baby many moons ago) wrote about traveling without a phone.

I appreciate a moment more when I know I’ll never see it again.

I have a zillion photos from Italy and Norway and Hawaii and I don’t remember the last time I looked at them. I’ve thought about those places, and talked about them, much more than I’ve looked at at the actual digital files. I wonder if I’d remember more if I took a zillion less photos?

Reminds me of this episode of the Morning Shakeout Podcast with Sally McRae. She talked about being at her mom’s side when she was passing away. It wasn’t about the things or the photos or the house in those finals hours, it was the people.

The new macOS is here; Catalina.

I didn’t know this, but “Catalina is the end of the road for all 32-bit applications and frameworks on the Mac.”

Take the advice of 512 Pixels:

Stop reading this and go download Go64, a free app that will show you how many 32-bit apps are on your system. If you’re like me, you’ll be surprised how many may be hanging out in your Applications folder.

I downloaded Go64 and I’m safe, but you should check it our for yourself. I’m going to wait until the weekend to upgrade, just in case anything breaks. Can’t have my work-flow messed up on a TUESDAY.

Effort

I had planned a 10 mile race after a recent 5K. Like, the day after.

The plan was to run an “easy” 5K, that is, slow. To conserve energy, save my muscles for the longer 10 mile run the next day.

But I didn’t run easy, I ran hard. Faster than I’ve ever run before.

While I thought I felt fine, my body had other plans. An upset stomach, loss of sleep, yeah, just wasn’t going to happen.

I took a lot of risks on that 5K – choosing to not take it easy, running hard in mile one, then mile two. Choosing to keep chasing the #2 runner, when I could have easily just coasted in for a 3rd place finish.

But I pushed, and took a risk, and came in 2nd, and I don’t regret a thing.

I guess that’s what risk is, though. Not knowing what might happen, and being completely present. Sort of not worrying about tomorrow, because right now is all we got.

Cliche, sure, but in this case it worked out okay.

Second Place Feels Rad

Today I ran The 2nd Annual East Stroudsburg, PA Run For Resilience Ostomy 5k. It was a brisk morning, with temps down in the 30s to start the day, but it was perfect running weather.

It was a small field, just about 50 people. I had intended to “take it easy” on this run, as I have a 10 mile trail race tomorrow, but when I saw it was a smaller crowd, I figured I should put my year of training and running to some use!

I was in third place for most of the race, but in the final 50 yards or so I moved into second place. That’s the second time I’ve made a “late race move,” and it usually leaves me scared, waiting for that person to make their move and pass me! But thankfully that didn’t happen, and I finished in second place overall, with a time of 25:25, my fastest ever.

Today I ran my fastest mile, too: 7:49. When I was in high school, back in the mid 90s, I ran a seven minute mile. All these years later, to be just 49 seconds off is okay with me.

Looking back at my training, I’ve been mostly running at a slower pace, from 10-12 minute miles, for about an hour at a time. About once every two weeks I’ll do a speed run using the Nike Training App, with their treadmill runs. It’s wild to think that easy running, with the occasional half hour speed workouts, really make a difference. That, and losing 15lbs since June, of course.