Met up with an old friend for lunch recently. We met via our faith, more or less, something we’ve since walked away from. We’ve been through some low points and – at least for now – we’re seeing some good stuff.
The bad times don’t last forever, and dammit, we just enjoy the good stuff when it’s front of us.
“And hey, is everything perfect right now? Nope.”
So much isn’t perfect, but we can work with it. And that’s what we’ll keep doing.
The one thing that stuck out for me was choosing your outlook. If you think the universe is conspired against you, that nothing is going to work out, generally that’s sorta gonna happen. I had that mindset for a few years, with clenched fists and carrying lots of stress in my shoulders and face.
Then I started running, because being mad wasn’t getting me anywhere. Running led to autonomy, dignity, self-respect, achievement. Things that a grumpy attitude weren’t able to provide.
So like Dr. Jeremy Goldberg spoke in this episode, if you can choose the negative, you can also choose the positive. If the negative can lead to the grumps and “nothing ever works out,” then the opposite must be true, right?
It’s what I believe, and it’s led me to some pretty damn good times.
I think I found this via someone’s Instagram Story, but just like all of social media, it’s hard to remember sometimes, right?
When feeling anxious, I tend to remember to pull everything back to the present moment. It’s easier in the car, since paying attention is imperitive, but really to shake off the feelings of terror and dread, and replace them with “right now nothing is happening.”
I’m not being attacked, or mauled, or threatened. In this very moment I am alive, breathing, and handsome. Hey, it’s my self-talk, dammit!
But it’s so true, as Cleo Wade points out, above; the anxiety is not you. It’s a feeling, and we aren’t our feelings. I credit the Headspace app with a lot of help with that in my life.
I appreciate a moment more when I know I’ll never see it again.
I have a zillion photos from Italy and Norway and Hawaii and I don’t remember the last time I looked at them. I’ve thought about those places, and talked about them, much more than I’ve looked at at the actual digital files. I wonder if I’d remember more if I took a zillion less photos?
At a deep level, the language of climate denialism is tied up with a form of masculine identity predicated on modern industrial capitalism – specifically, the Promethean idea of the conquest of nature by man, in a world especially made for men.
What’s the saying? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? Got a nice reminder today in my inbox that moving forward sometimes taking a fresh new step.
“Remember, if you want to see new results, you need to start changing factors in your fitness routine,” says Matty. “Maybe it’s not everyday, but consider ‘graduating’ from those 5lb to 10lb weights!”
Staying at 5lbs, or running three miles, or not taking that chance with a new client, or speaking up – it’s all reasonable. Stay in your wheelhouse, right? But without some risk, without being “unreasonable” as Seth Godin puts it, we can get stuck.
In the piece Anne Helen Petersen speaks about burn out, fair wages, the hustle economy, and lots of other fantastic bits. Go read it.
The biggest point for me was this: “think deeply and consistently about how your own actions, and standards, and practices create burnout in others,” which is credited to Jonathan Malesic.
On a recent road trip I stopped for gas and got a coffee at the attached Dunkin’ Donuts. Cream, no sugar. I tasted it before I walked away, and sure enough it had cream and sugar.
I’ve seen people go off over something like this. As if it’s a personal affront, an attack on their dignity to subjected to such treatment. I’ve seen a person throw an entire cup of coffee out in the trash on their way out the door over this.
Or… just kindly state the problem, and ask for a new cup. That’s what I did, and shockingly it wasn’t very hard.
Since “No Junk June,” health goals have been my focus.
The world is a better place when we’re whole, and feeling good. Sometimes we need to divert our energy from things we think we need to attain, like the above career or relationship goals, and turn them inward.
Because once we nail the health and lifestyle stuff, perhaps the career and relationship goals will come into focus.